It Is Well With My Soul

For the life of me I can't begin to figure out why on earth I am always inspired in the late hours of the night, and by late I mean 11:00 p.m. Yes I am a 22 year old college kid and yes I prefer to be sound asleep at 10:00 p.m. Perhaps the reason it works out this way is because as I look back over the day I can't denying the Lord's consuming presence.

Today my precious grandfather was laid to rest. As I write to you I am not entirely sure that my mind is capable of fathoming all of the events that have taken place in the last 48 hours. He was the last of my grandparents to make the journey from earth into eternal Glory. Needless to say the impact he has had on my life has been substantial. I know that no description that I attempt to construct for you will ever do justice to the depth of his character so perhaps I will attempt it on another day, at another time, when my eyes are slightly less puffy and my emotions a little less tattered but to put things in perspective I could summarize his character best by saying that my Pawpaw was a good man. Being that he was a man of few words he would probably appreciate my attempt at brevity.

My heart is still in anguish over the loss our family is facing here on earth. He wore some mighty big shoes and I'm just not certain that they are capable of being filled. What I do know is that my grandfather has met the King of Kings. I get chills when I think about that name, KING OF KINGS. Wow.

In the midst of today's responsibilities the thing that has impacted me the most was just the sheer presence of the Holy Spirit today. The tempo for the day was set when I picked up Beth Moore's Stepping Up and began my daily time with the Lord. Today's devotion was directed towards Psalm 125. After reading the day's passage I knew without a doubt that God had ordained my morning meeting long ago as I looked on verse 3 which reads: As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore [Psalm 125:3]. In my mind the word "surround" could be synonymous with "encompass or enclosed". Now bear with me for a second, but just let your mind absorb the thought of being enclosed by the presence of Almighty God. To be so closely encircled by his presence that he becomes the very breath that you breath. 

 We gathered at my grandfather's graveside this afternoon and we began to sing the familiar words of Amazing Grace. As soon as we raised our voices in worship the wind began to pick up. Now to you that may not mean much but almost 19 years ago I stood in the same spot as my grandfather's beloved wife was laid to rest and as young as I was I remember the exact thing happening. It was as if the wind blew in at just the right moment and surrounded us with the all encompassing love and peace of the Holy Spirit. There was no denying that the Lord was right their with us, giving us the very breath we needed to withstand the heartache that we faced in our temporary separation from a man that we all hold so close to our hearts. Just as His word promises in Psalm 34: 18, " The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit".

As we were driving home tonight I couldn't help but think, how could I not fall in love with the Father who is so faithful to bring comfort and all surpassing peace in the midst of pain? How can I help but declare the praises of the one who is my very source of strength and breath, the one who calls out to me in the midst of darkness? In appropriate fashion I started humming the tune to the lyrics of Jason Gray's More Like Falling in Love which says : 

I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves and breathes
To sweep me off my feet, its gotta be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in 
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance

The way the Father spoke tenderly to my heart and granted peace is consuming because I know all to well what it's like to stand in the same situation in the absence of peace and to let myself become so consumed with grief that I forget to fix my eyes on Jesus. He moves in such a way that I absolutely can't help but love him because I know that without his presence my attitude and perception of today's circumstances would have been enough to send this wandering heart into a state of rebellion. Through God's great grace and the exalted prayers of my very dear brothers and sisters in Christ I was able to face the challenges of the day with a sense of hope and peace and declare through worship that in the midst of heartache "It is well with my soul".

With a joyful heart,
Emily